Why I refuse to be old… or maybe I am…
My birthday is this week and while it isn’t a “big” one… it certainly isn’t a “little” one either. When my mother was this age she was a widow with 4 grandchildren.
When I look at this photo now… I can see that her face doesn’t look too wrinkly, but she was definitely grey.
I do now have a few grey hairs… those I’m mainly blaming on the stress of taking on being a primary caregiver of my mother.
What does a 54 year old look like these days?
Michelle Pfeiffer is 54 in this photo… she looks great. A few crows feet around her eyes, but otherwise, I’d say she looks 40. She also has great makeup which probably covers other things.
A random google search tells me this woman is 54. She definitely looks more what I think of when I think of over 50. Some wrinkles and showing age.
this one too:
I’m not certain how a 54 year old is supposed to feel and/or look. I do not think that I look OLD. Maybe I do and I’m just fooling myself. I do not think that I act old. In fact, I know that is true. I have more stamina and energy to do things than some of my 40-something friends (whom I dearly LOVE!).
It could be because I still have a teenager at home… but I also have a 25 year old. I have friends that are my age (or younger) that are already grandparents. I’m fine with not being a grandparent yet. We waited till almost 30 to start having kids, there is no rush for my children to produce offspring yet.
I do not like short hair. It seems that all the old ladies have short hair. YUCK! I think that lends itself to making you look older. Maybe it also makes you look more mature? I don’t know. I do not see myself with short hair EVER. Yes, I generally have it in a pony tail or a braid, but that is better than so short you can’t do anything with it. Even though, I actually don’t do anything with it. 😀
Inside, I don’t feel 54. But then again, I’m not sure how 54 is supposed to feel. I know that I have an innocence about me – have always had that – maybe that is why I feel younger. I know that I am often treated like I don’t know what I’m doing… am clueless… need someone to give me advice… but I really don’t. While I may come off as innocent or needy, I’m not. If you really know me you know that I can very clearly stand on my own two feet and take care of things: raising teenagers, be in charge of a major home addition, become a primary caregiver for my mother, lead a Girl Scout troop, plan a trip for that GS troop, make wonderful afghans, run a household… just to name a few.
I also don’t do harsh chemical face washes or makeup. Who needs makeup? Even when I worked as a teacher and did wear a tiny bit of makeup, it was sweated off or wiped off quickly. Makeup just makes me sweat. Yes, people have tried to tell me there are wonderful types of make up that are light and blah, blah, blah… not interested. I have better things to do with my time than spend time putting on makeup. If you can’t like me au natural, then move on.
So, on this eve on my birthday… what is old? Old is something I’m not. At least not completely. Yes, I have a few grey hairs. Yes, I might have a laugh line or two. Yes, my joints might ache. Yes, I find it hard to get out of a low sitting car. Yes, getting up from the ground requires extra effort.
Yes, I will still be going camping with the scouts. Yes, I will hike and stomp in the mud and play in the rain with them. Yes, I will climb 4 flights of stairs to move a child into college. Yes, I will play on the raft in the lake. Yes, I will play cards and board games with you (within reason). Yes, I will climb the 178 steps to the top of the lighthouse. Yes, I will walk on the beach with you. Yes, I will pull my hair back into a pony tail every day. Yes, I will use the circular saw, jigsaw, and drill to fix things around my house. Yes, I will lay flooring in 2 different houses. Yes, I will find fun new patterns for afghans and the yarn to make them.
I am going to refuse to be old. I am going to live based on how I feel on the inside. I’ll let you know when I am old. Tomorrow will not be it!