Are you a Hugger?

So sorry about being gone.  I doubt that many of you really missed me… I’m not some fabulous blogger and have millions of followers.  I just share from my heart and hope that encourages someone else.


If you are on Facebook, then you probably know most of what my life has been consumed with for the last 11 months.    I will reflect on that in a couple weeks.


Here is my pondering for today… I may have touched on it in other blogs, but I couldn’t find it specifically, so I figured it was time to meditate on it.

To Hug or Not to Hug?

That is my question.

I am NOT a hugger… wasn’t raised that way…. have never been… makes me uncomfortable.  Though, I am trying in small baby steps to try to do a wee bit better with some friends.  It is hard for me.  Hugging, in my opinion, requires a level of trust, security, peace, and love for the other person.  It is a personal event.  You are in close contact with someone.  You need to feel safe and loved by them in order to want to be that close to someone.

So… what if others are huggers and can’t grasp that it makes you uncomfortable?  What do you do?

I have a friend who usually warns me… says something like:  “I know you aren’t a hugger but I’m going to hug you anyways.”  I am getting better at accepting hugs from her.  Because she has taken the time to know me and respect my level of comfort with hugs.

So… if the huggers can’t/won’t do that?  What do you do?

Image result for hugging

Do you hug because it is expected of you?  I can’t do that.  It truly makes me very uncomfortable… especially with people that I don’t feel safe and loved by.


What do you do?


I step back.  I keep someone else or something else between us.  Yes, that is a bit awkward, but I’d rather that then the even worse feeling of being hugged.


I have even asked to not be hugged… and said something like:  “No thank you, I’m not comfortable with that.”  And I feel like I was judged for being rude.


I really do want to know.   What do you do?  I will NOT hug if I am not comfortable.  Hugging randomly is not how I was raised and it is not something I will start now.


I just wish that the people who constantly try to hug me (and my children) would understand that we are uncomfortable with hugging as a greeting/farewell and would respect us.  Not everyone is the same… not everyone has the same comfort level… we do not exist with the same comfort level as them… to force/encourage/expect us to do something outside of our comfort zone on a regular basis just sends the message to us that we are not loved and respected for who we are and what we need to feel safe and loved and comfortable.


AND… don’t get me started on the kissing…




One thought on “Are you a Hugger?

  1. I wasn’t raised in a huggy-kissy family either, and it still makes me uncomfortable. Then I married into a huggy-kissy family… People do tend to be offended, but I’m not doing it AT them. As you say, some people are just different.
    Way to go with the ‘It’s okay to say no to hugs’. Kids need to learn this.

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