SAHM – Stay at Home Mom

I read an article this afternoon that appalled me.  Maybe I’m reading it wrong. Maybe it was written tongue-in-check.  But, I think it really speaks to something that is wrong with society today, the lack of value for a mother and family.

 

Here is a link to the article, so you can read it:

http://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/ten-truths-regarding-stay-at-home-moms

 

Here is what I want to say in rebuttal (not that my thoughts and rebuttal matter to anyone)

The author claims these are truths.  I claim she is very, very wrong!

She says:  We feel lesser.

I say:  How can you feel lesser when your primary responsibility is raising and caring for your children?  If you feel “lesser”  then you have your priorities wrong.  You should feel “more-er”  because your task as a mom cannot be replicated.

 

She says:  We are jealous.

I say:  Who are you kidding?  Staying home in your jammies if you want, and not dealing with make up, heels, pantyhose, etc.  That is the benefit.  She claims you only look “important” when you are dressed up and going to work.  Sorry, you are THE MOST IMPORTANT person to that little one you are raising.  They don’t care how you look (or smell).

 

She says:  We eat boring lunches.

I say:  What constitutes a not boring lunch?  Spending $13 on a burger?  Why?  Your lunch date everyday is wonderful.  You get to teach them about nutrition, and manners, and sharing, and how to cook (if you want).  How much fun is that to mold and encourage a young mind?

 

She says:  We feel pressured to act really busy.

I say:  Some days you are really busy, some days your are not. If you are married to a wonderful spouse, they realize that.  Somedays you might be just playing Candy Crush on the computer, but that could be after a long bout of Candyland and a struggle to get little one down for a nap.  Other days, you will be picking up toys, doing dishes, etc.  Everything fluctuates.

 

She says:  We feel intermittently busy, lazy and lonely.

I say: OK, this might have a kernal of truth in it.  However, there are lots of outlets available to counteract the lonely.  Parent-child swim and gym classes… playgrounds… art classes… dance classes… walks in the park… walking the dog…you have to reach out and find those groups.

 

She says:  We count the hours until dinner.

I say:  I don’t understand that.  Does she mean we count the hours until our spouse comes home after working a full day to “take over?”  Does she mean we count the hours till they can be fed and sent to bed?  Really it seems this woman doesn’t like being with her children at all.

 

She says:  We wonder if we have made the right decision.

I say:  If you cannot see the wonder of raising your own children and instilling in them the values that you hold dear.  Being the one to take care of them and see all the firsts and rejoice with them.  To be the one wiping the tears and cleaning the puke.   There is no better decision.  If you doubt that decision, maybe you should have thought of that before you had children.  Sure, there will be days that the child(ren) get on your last nerve, but all-in-all, they are YOUR children.

 

She says:  We don’t put the laundry away either.

I say:  I kind of agree with that concept but not her reasoning.  She says that she doesn’t do it because if the kids are too lazy, then why should she pick up the slack.  HELLO!  You are the mom.  You are supposed to be teaching them and nurturing them.  They learned to not put it away from you, not the other way around.

 

She says:  We long for time alone in the car.

I say:  OK.  Sure.  But why the car?  If you feel you must entertain your children at all times, that is your problem.  I believe that children can and should be raised to be able to entertain themselves.  I don’t need to be their playmate at all times.  They should be able to sit and play with a toy on their own, find a book to read on their own, self entertain.

 

She says:  We don’t get bored.

I say:  I will agree with this one point.  Being a SAHM mom is NOT boring.  It is the hardest and yet most fulfilling role to have.  I realize that not everyone wants to be a SAHM.  I realize that not everything believes they can be a SAHM.  I am very grateful that I was able to do so.

 

OK.  My rant for the day is done.

 

Sorry I’ve been gone from this blog for so long.  Being a SAHD (stay-at-home-daughter) is harder than being a SAHM.  The challenges are similar, but toddlers learn and grow, senior citizens just get snarky and repeat the same thing day after day… you know like:  Groundhog Day or 50 First Dates.