Is there something that you do that irritates others?
Is there something that irritates you?
Is there something your loved one does repeatedly, that they know irritates you and yet, they continue to do it?
Do dirty clothes on the floor bother you?
Do your children leave their dishes in the living room?
Does someone consistently leave the toilet seat up?
Do you love someone that plays their music too loud – all the time?
Do you live with someone that grinds their teeth when they chew?
Do you have to remind someone to clean up after themselves – every day?
What do you do?
How do you handle it if you live with some activity/action that your loved one does that irritates you? They know it irritates you. Yet, they continue with very little change or consideration for your feelings.
Is this a time where you just “suck it up” and live with it, because, certainly you must have something that irritates them and therefore it is equal?
Is this a time when you get angry and remind them AGAIN how much that irritates you and how you feel it is inconsiderate?
Is this a time for introspection on your part so that you can figure out why it irritates you?
What if you already know why it irritates you and you feel that you have shared that reasoning before and still there seems to be a lack of concern for you?
Does this mean that the other person is unfeeling and selfish? Does this mean that the other person is an egomaniac and only cares for themselves? Could be.
Does this mean that the other person doesn’t fully understand the impact their action/activity takes on you. Most Likely.
One would hope that loved ones would not deliberately continue to do something that they know is very bothersome to the person they love. Yes, it might continue some (after all, one would assume they like to do it) but, one would hope, they would curtail it in your presence.
What is the reason for your uncomfortableness with the action/activity?
Is it a physical reason? Do you become injured because they leave things in your way to trip over? Or harm yourself on?
Is it a physical reason? Does your blood pressure go up because of the stress?
Is it a physical reason? Do you get a headache because of an odor?
Is it an emotional reason? Does it make you think of a former terrible experience?
Is it an emotional reason? Does it make you sad?
Is it an emotional reason? Does it cause you stress and unrest?
Is it an economical reason? Is there something going to waste?
Is it an economical reason? Is there a better/easier/more efficient way to do it?
If you know the reason you are irritated by the action… If you feel you have shared that reason with your loved one… I’m not certain what to do next if they do not seem to be concerned about your feelings/well being.
I believe that one should almost always put others first. That you should help others, you should care for others, you should take others feelings into consideration. However, where does that leave me? I guess that leaves me on the bottom of the pile, being walked on, used, ignored, neglected and irritated. Is that what should be happening? Should one always “suck it up” when faced with these irritants?
I am certain that everyone feels that way at times. Everyone thinks they go out of the way to help others. That they are the ones always compromising or giving in.
This is part of living with others. We live in a give and take world. At times we have to give more than expected.
Giving is good. We teach our children to share, not to grab as much as they can. (OK, some parents do teach them to grab, but… for the sake of this blog, we’ll assume that those parents are the exception.) We teach our children to say please and thank you… to hold the door for others… to say excuse me when they want to interrupt or pass in front of someone… to be polite.
Why is then that in our own homes and families, we fail? Is it because we are so comfortable with those human beings and the fact that they must love us that we let down our guard? Or is it because we can only be polite and courteous so long that we just don’t care when we are at home?
I do not have any answers…. I really don’t. I wish I did. 😦