Lately it seems that disappointment is the norm in my life.
I am disappointed with my place of former employment… I’m disappointed with people in my family… I’m disappointed with myself… I’m disappointed with friends… I’m disappointed with how people respond/react to me and my family…
Why? I suppose that it could be my own perspective. I suppose some would tell me that I need to have a cheery/rosy outlook and it really is all in how I perceive things. In some ways, that could be true.
But could it also be true that society has gotten to the place where it is all about “me.” We no longer seem to care what others think and/or feel. We do what we want, say what we want, not caring how it will impact others or how it will change someone’s world.
Yes, we have gotten to that point. Society, in general is very egocentric. It is all about what you can do for me. What I can get out of you. How I can get the most out of doing the least. Which is very sad.
Maybe I am naive, but that is not how I believe or behave (or try to behave). I try to help others. I try to put others first. What can I do for YOU? I don’t mind hard work. I know that this sometimes leads to me being taken advantage of… and thus disappointed. I think of myself AFTER others…. which in many cases results in.. disappointment.
What can I do about it? What can I do to stop being constantly disappointed in others?
1. I could become hardened and egocentric and look out only for myself.
2. I could not care about other people and their feelings. I could become calloused to others.
3. I could lower my standards and not expect much from people so therefore they can’t disappoint me.
4. I could continue to be disappointed, holding on to my principles that helping others is the better way to go — ooops, that won’t stop the disappointment.
I guess I am going to choose to continue to be disappointed. Of course, there are times when I look out for myself and gird myself to withstand the disappointment. However, I guess I just need to somehow accept that I WILL be disappointed by others – ALL THE TIME. I will be taken advantage of, I will be overlooked, I will be dismissed, I will be looked down upon. If only, all of that didn’t hurt so much.
I’m not really sure of the point of this blog post today. I was hit with another major disappointment this weekend, on top of a big one last week, not to mention all of them in the last 5 years. I am getting weary. I will pull myself up by my bootstraps (what exactly are bootstraps?) and trundle on. What else can I do? If I get angry, no one listens or believes me or seems to care, so that is almost worthless. Besides, I don’t do confrontation.
There are some shining lights in my world right now. Some of the people at my (now defunct) work have been fabulous! Some of the people in my life – mostly those involved with Girl Scouts – have been fabulous. I wish I could say the same for people in organized religion.
I realize that not everyone disappoints me. However, when it is people/places/organizations that disappoint me that are very, very dear to me, it hurts deeply. I suppose, that I hold them to a higher standard and I really shouldn’t. However, when you want the best from everyone and know that they could do better….
The argument could be made… that the fault is mine. I bring the disappointment on myself by having too high of expectations and standards. I don’t feel like that should be a bad thing. This world is so far removed from good behavior, manners, common courtesy, common sense, graciousness… it is very sad that I might be questioning lowering my own standards to come in line with the world.
Just a melancholy, raining Sunday morning…. headed out to clean in the garage now. Maybe the physical activity will help.