I read an article today that was really good. Follow this link to read it yourself.
We have experienced much adult to adult bullying in the last 5 years. This speaks more about adult to child bullying. But I think that the issue is even greater adult-adult.
When we called someone on it (people in public education) we were told NO, they weren’t being bullies, a bully is someone that continues the action repeatedly. Which, honestly, they were. Whether they wanted to admit it or not.
I love this portion of the article.
“Bowling over people… becomes an awfully effective way at getting what they want. And adult bullies may genuinely not realize they’re pretentious jerks, although I think more likely they don’t care. They have such an inflated sense of their own self-worth that they keep at it……
If more of us just spoke up, bullies would lose their shock and awe power.”
That is what was happening to us in dealing with the school. They felt that only they knew what was right and that we were incapable. It wasn’t until we/I took a stand and basically told them what to do that they seemed to back off. It wasn’t until I brought it to their attention that they were dismissing the only people that actually understood the issue completely (us) instead of listening to our years of experience and utilizing it. It wasn’t until I clearly told them what people with more knowledge and experience and training told us was right that they seemed to begin to understand that they could possibly be wrong. Will they ever admit that to us? NO. Will we ever receive an apology or any other communication about this issue? Not likely. In fact it has been over 3 months and we have not heard one word from them since that last meeting where it became abundantly clear that it was not a universal problem but a single teacher problem and that we were actually right all along. Isn’t that the way with bullies? Until you stand up to them fully and tell them to back off, they continue with their behavior?
Now… what if we move this thought process to the church and our church related issues??
It applies there too. Those in “authority” felt that they could just bowl over us and keep to their agenda (which no one really knows what it is/was). And they did. They are pretentious jerks. They do not care. They do have an inflated sense of self-worth. They have everyone (800+ other pastors) convinced that their way is the only way. They have people too terrified to take a stand against them because they will be removed from their jobs. If more of us took a stand against the arrogance of those in “power” – power which, by the way, we gave them – and encouraged them to act in a more civilized and gracious and CHRISTIAN way…. the church wouldn’t be hurting so much. Those in the employ of the church wouldn’t be hurting so much. Those in the employ of the church would be able to do actual ministry, the way they and their congregations wanted without fear of retribution. If those in “power” actually served as Jesus commanded as SERVANTS… remember the last shall be first part of scripture? How about the golden rule? Do unto others? What about love your neighbor as yourself? What about being a humble servant? What about grace and mercy and love and reconcilliation? Sadly, those are lacking in some (most? all?) organized religions today?
What if, those in the church acted like they were part of a church? Like they were actually followers of a loving, forgiving, man – Jesus? What if, they extended grace first instead of accusations? What if they actually tried to reconcile with those in dispute? What if they actually practiced Matthew 18. ALL of Matthew 18, not just the parts they want.
4“whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”